either way he was missing a nipple.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
