Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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