Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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