Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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