the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize