Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
