You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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