we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
