I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
