he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
