yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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