God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
