Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
