Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize