idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
