We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
