I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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