I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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