This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
