you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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