Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Drunk is a universal language darling
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
