Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You dont lie about slip and slides
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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