I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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