I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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