drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
