If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
