If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
