I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
