remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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