Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
