i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize