Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
