Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
