So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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