i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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