Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
