my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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