yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
