God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
