Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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