come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
