i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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