Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
