we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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