ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
