the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Dick very happy bro
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