i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
