i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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