she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
