How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
