Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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