Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
