why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
smell my finger.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
