how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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