We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
