I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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