We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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