Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
not ubering you a puppy
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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