I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
