I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
