is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize