Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
