Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
