Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize