Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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