you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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