I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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