when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
