It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize